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| Shantanu stopping Goddess Ganga from drowning Devavrata Source: Wikimedia |
My mother had been bouncing me up and down so that I could feel like I was flying like the great Garuda while we stood on the banks. Children love the feeling as if they are flying through the air and I did too. Soon my mother lifted me up so quickly that when I was at the apex I was out of her arms; she no longer had her hands on mine or her arms around my small body! I was suspended in mid-air, but I was no longer on the banks and the once sparkling river had now turned to dark tumultuous churning waves waiting to swallow me whole!
Then I wake up…my reoccurring nightmare. My mother was going to drop me into the water of the Ganges river and let me drown. My father told me that she disappeared with me, but returned when I was trained and ready to serve with him in the Kingdom. Unfortunately, I do not have memories of my mother other than that day at the river.
Maybe that is why becoming “Bhishma” and taking that “terrible oath” wasn’t really that difficult of a choice for me. When my father, King Shantanu, wanted to marry Satyavati the fisherman would only give his blessing if their future sons could rule the kingdom. Without any second guessing in my mind, I vowed to NEVER accept the throne, get married, or have children.
I wasn’t thinking about my nightmare; I don’t even think I started having that dream until recently. However, I still knew of the story. I was only here as a baby, my life almost ended. Then one day I returned as a young man. So, maybe I feared to love a woman who runs off when times get tough or when she doesn’t get her way. Yet it might have also been the simple worry of picking a wife who might try to drown our future child.
Either way, it does not matter now, for I am Bhishma. I am dedicated to this cause. I did this for my sire, and his happiness, at least that is what I say. I live my life for others and although I did not marry or have children and do not hold the title of Rajah; I do help the Pandavas and Kauravas rule. I have done my best to teach them how to be warriors, leaders, and to follow the Gods, but they are still young, headstrong, and asinine. May the Gods watch over us all as I am afraid they will tear each other apart one day.
Author's Note: We all know that our parents do things that can really affect us throughout our lives, whether intentional or unintentional. Since Bhisma's existence is not explored very much in the beginning of the PDE version I thought it would be cool to introduce a little story from him. He never directly places any blame, because a good child understands that parents make the choices they do with the best of intentions most of the time. However, it doesn't change the fact that it still kind of messed his thinking up a little bit.
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