Nature requires five,
Custom gives seven!
Laziness takes nine,
And wickedness eleven.
(Hours of Sleep)
(traditional nursery rhyme)
 |
| Image from Flickr user Army Medicine |
Terri was having trouble finding ways to sleep. She decided to try counting imaginary white fluffy sheep. Why couldn’t she find dreamland? Lying in bed, it was nowhere in sight and not close at hand.
Eight hours of rest according to the experts, but she couldn’t even get one. She had just returned to school, so was she overwhelmed because the class had begun? The assignments hadn’t been given yet, so that wouldn’t be a reason to fret.
She tossed and turned, flipped and flopped, but eventually was aggravated and stopped. Meandering through the bedroom she went, hoping this wasn’t going to be a reoccurring event.
Thinking about tomorrow, she realized that’s what it was. They had been estranged for a while, Terri was just excited. No reason to worry, Terri had made her amends. Tomorrow would be great, that she was sure!
Experts were wrong, her body needed less rest, only three and a half hours to be exact. Instead, she started to bake cookies but began crying when she could not find the vanilla extract.
Now frustrated and embarrassed with tears on her face, Terri had a temper tantrum and threw the baking crap all over the place! She took a glass from the cupboard, reached in her fridge, and poured a glass of chardonnay; then sat on the couch to relax her stress and worries away.
She picked up the remote, turned on the T.V., and watched some Netflix so that her mind would become numb and sleep would ensue. Several shows later, a second bottle of wine had been consumed, she looked at the time on her watch but to her dismay, she had been awake much longer than she had assumed.
Now five in the morning, she could sleep two hours or stay awake all day and go to bed early that night. She had done it before, it was nothing new, but something was nagging at the back of her mind and it made her chest feel tight, she really felt like there was an important item to-do.
She decided to skip the two hours, she didn’t need it! Up off the couch she arose and started getting ready. Wow, she was lightheaded, kind of unsteady.
Chin up she told herself, you are strong. What is the big deal anyway, there is nothing wrong?
That nagging feeling still in her mind, made her head hurt. She laid on her bed in just her t-shirt. She thought to herself, this headache needs to go away, I must have drunk too much wine. It’s only six in the morning, I will close my eyes for just a second, but then I will be fine.
A second turned into an hour, an hour turned into several, she didn’t hear the phone calls. The doorbell rang at five p.m. and she finally awoke from her drunken stupor. Excited again, she ran to the door but was not understanding why it was a State Trooper.
He explained very grimly that her daughter’s cab was hit by a drunk driver on the way from the airport to Terri’s house. Terri’s daughter did not live. He apologized for her loss, told her the hospital information of where her daughter was taken and left Terri alone with no other words to give.
This would forever be in Terri’s mind, that nagging feeling she had. Was the tightness in her chest a premonition of the wickedness that would occur? Was this karma for the drinking or the amends that she thought she had made? Was it always in the big plan of whoever runs this universe, or is everything just a big chance meeting of events? She would never know, but she would have to decide how to make it through each day for the rest of her life.
Author's Note:
This is based off of a nursery rhyme describing number of hours of sleep and what they believe happens if you sleep that number of hours. I believe that a lot of people need more sleep than what they actually get. So, I wrote a story of a person who usually sleeps less than a number mentioned in the rhyme and tried to go totally without, but in the end sleeps the wicked number of hours, 11. I tried to keep this as a semi-rhyming story also, but certain places are not so easy to discern. Yes, it is supposed to turn dark, just as some old children's rhymes do.
Bibliography:
Inspired by the nursery rhyme, "Hours of Sleep" in The Nursery Rhyme Book edited by Andrew Lang.
Image Information:
Obtained from Flick stream https://www.flickr.com/photos/armymedicine/14108637993
When I can't sleep or when I am not tired, I also like to drink a glass of wine and watch a show, but this has not been possible lately, due to being so busy with a newborn :)
ReplyDeleteThis a very different, interesting twist on a nursery rhyme. Yet, it is sad at the same time and souns like a nightmare.
I agree with Vera about this being a very different twist on a nursery rhyme. I like it! I tend to greatly enjoy sad stories because I have they generally display the greatest use of drawing emotion from you, much like your story did! I very much enjoyed reading this story, thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story about Terri. I thought the rhyming was great and that was probably pretty difficult to do but it flowed really nicely! I also liked how the story very suddenly turned dark similarly to how nursery rhymes do. I wasn’t expecting that at all as I was reading but I liked the confusion and thought process of Terri in the ending.
ReplyDeleteThat was very interesting! It definitely took a turn I wasn't expecting but I really like the "darker" stories. They are more interesting to me. I sometimes think it is unrealistic when stories end on a super happy note. It usually doesn't happen that way in real life. I enjoyed that you kept the rhyme going. It flowed really well! I haven't been brave enough yet to try and rhyme through any of my stories.
ReplyDeleteThis story was very interesting to read. I really enjoyed all the rhyming. You did such a good job of trying to rhyme the whole poem that I had forgotten that this was not written but poet themselves. So, props for you for taking on a challenge and succeeding. I was not expecting the death of Terri’s daughter. That really took a toll on me when reading the story. Maybe in the story it would create more intensity if the state trooper just mentioned that the daughter got in an accident and not actually what happened to her. Then Terri could rush to the hospital in the poor state that she was in and could see what happened. The biggest plot twist would be that she would then actually wake up in real life and it was all a dream. In that way, she could learn her lesson about her sleeping habits. Great story!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a cool story! I had never read this rhyme before, but I love your take on it! The way that you utilized the numbers and facts to build a framework for what the character should to and the descriptor ‘wicked’ from the original piece to characterize the punishment or premonition that the character faces at the end of the story was brilliant. I also thought it was clever how you kept up the rhyme scheme to an extent. It helped move along the flow of the story and gave it a very surreal and engaging feel. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteWow, this was a really interesting story. The rhyming helped to keep the story engaging and the suspense of that nagging feeling that Terri had also kept the story very strong. As I was reading it, I could relate to what was happening at the beginning and then I think the "wow" factor came at the end when Terri wakes up to the State Trooper knocking on her door. Great story!
ReplyDelete